Help! How to do I get beyond thinking because I can do something that I should do it or need to do it?


Hi Brooke,

I realize for most of my life I have been a fixer and will jump into any scenario and try to make it work. Often times this isn’t really to my benefit. I think I have had this buried thought that if I CAN do something that I should do it. Through SCS I have realized that thought is in the background driving a lot of things that I do which is a great learning. And, now that I know and am conscious of that thought I am trying to change things and not just do things because I can.

However, I have ended up in a situation where I feel like I am stuck between possibly needing to do something because I can even though I (maybe for the first time ever) I am identifying up front that I don’t want to do it. Here’s the situation – I was laid off several months ago. I have been looking for a new job and now have an offer. Originally I was excited by the role but during the process, it has become clear to me that the company isn’t thoughtful of its employees and it won’t be a great place to work. And, to be honest, it doesn’t support my long-term plans – with the except that it does provide a generous paycheck. And, in many ways, it detracts from my long-term goals (dating more with a goal of marriage and a family) because it requires a lot of travel for extended periods of time (6-8 weeks in locations that are not where I live).

So my question to you is do I move forward with the opportunity even though I know it is not the right fit? I am torn because I need an income and I know I can provide a lot of value to the employer. However, I don’t think the employer’s culture is a fit and I feel like the requirements of the job will detract from my life goals?