HELP!! Major Relationship Confusion

I ended my relationship with my boyfriend of almost two years because something didn’t “feel right”. He didn’t do anything wrong and there was no explosive reason why I ended things. I just was unsure of the relationship. I have also been working a lot on myself and my life coaching business. I feel like a different person since we started dating.

We went close to a month without communicating. Honestly, I felt nothing. It was almost like I was numb. And I told myself that I guess he didn’t care either and I made the right choice.

Not long ago, he reached out. He told me that he has been working on himself. He has been trying to transform his outlook and approach to life. He has also been doing research into the things I am interested in. Something he never really did before.

I have spent a little time with him. The first couple times were fun and I started to think that maybe I could give him another shot. The last couple, however, I have left feeling heavy. Like a 100 pound weight is on my shoulders. I don’t know what it is. I just feel like something about him weighs me down. I can’t pinpoint it.

I care about him. He is honest and loyal. He definitely loves me. He is smart and funny. And yet I just don’t feel right about this relationship.

Sometimes I feel like it would best to cut ties completely. But then I have this thought of what if I am making a mistake. Or what if I end up alone. I don’t have a lot of people close to me. My two best friends are married with kids. They are busy and we don’t spend much time together. So then I worry about staying at home and never going out and meeting anyone new. At the same time if I get back together with him just because I am afraid of being alone or not meeting someone new I might regret it. I can’t just be with someone and not be happy. I have so many conflicting thoughts about the whole situation and it is keeping me from doing anything.

Please help me get some clarity! Thank you!