Help with model Dec 2018

Hi Brooke
Please could you help me try and get my brain around a model i’m working on? once I run the first model a second thought argues with the first.

Model 1:
C: Husband snaps at me
T: how long is this misery going to last
F: Resentment
A: I walk away slamming the door
R: I’m distant from husband

Model. 2
C: Husband Snaps at me
T: Lissa (me) stop being so bloody selfish he is having a really hard time at the moment
F: Shame
A: I walk away and slam the door
R: I’m miserable and distant from my husband

I am trying to run an intentional better thought as I would like to feel empathy and compassion towards my husband. However, I am struggling to feel compassion as I feel sad about my husbands situation. Rather than trying to do thought work to feel compassion should I just allow myself to feel sad?

Model. 3 Intentional Thought
C: Husband snaps at me
T: it’s not about me, husband is going through a difficult time at the moment
F: Compassion
A: ????
R: ????

Model. 4 Intentional Thought
C: Husband snaps at me
T: Why is he so snappy, he must be feeling stressed out today?????
F: Compassion
A: Talk to husband more about our situation
R: ?????

Many thanks for your help