Hi Brooke,
Can you help me with this model?
I have 2 sisters whom I get together with for a weekend once in a while. I am always asking all the questions about how things are going, what is new in their life, always taking an interest in what they are doing, and they never ever ask what is going on in my life. Even when I start to tell them things, both of them just brush it off and go onto other subjects. I am at a point where I am sick and tired of this as it happens every time we get together. So tired of this that I feel like cancelling our weekend together! True, they might not be interested in what I am doing. On the other hand sometimes when they tell me things that doesn’t interest me either, but I do ask and I put the effort to make some sort of connection with my family. It is important to me.
C: Get together with sisters.
T: It is so one-sided, they never ask how I am doing or what is new in my life.
F: rejected
A: Going to cancel our weekend together.
R: unseen and unheard.
I know I can’t change them, so what thought do I need to think?
C: Get together with sisters
T: I don’t mind that they don’t ask me what is up with me. (but I really do!)
F: Happy, excited,
A: Keep asking them questions about their lives
R: I still feel unseen and not heard
Other thoughts:
It is okay that they don’t want to know what is new in my life (but I still feel sad about this thought)
I need bridging thoughts that could help me believe this!
I feel connected to my sisters when they tell me all about themselves. (but it feels like the connection is one-sided)
Thanks Brooke!