I’m the same woman who asked about the ‘demanding’ friend. Your insight here is amazing…you’re right I want her to stop being disappointed in order to not worry about it.
I’m fascinated by this idea across lots of close relationships I have. And have written a whole thought download on it.
Can you review the models I did on my feelings about my boss and the guilt I feel about only working 3 days a week. This a choice that suits me really well for lots of reasons although I sometimes feel like o need to justify it as I don’t have kids, uni study or some other ‘acceptable’ reason.
I believe and know she also believes that I’m making a good contribution but it would be easier for them if I worked full time which most other staff do.
C – not working Wed and Fri
T – my boss is unhappy about this and I can’t cope if she’s upset or disappointed
F – anxious. Guilty
A – worry about the situation.
R – I’m uncomfortable working part time and wonder if I should agree to work 4 days a week
C – not working wed and Friday
T – this is what we agreed. It’s okay if my boss feels unhappy or stressed, I don’t cause her feelings
F – calm
A – don’t get upset or anxious if she ‘forgets’ I’m not in one day. Don’t worry about hurting her feelings
R – keep working 3 days a week without feeling guilty.