Help Modeling Confusion in Decision Making Caused by Resistance to Husband’s Reaction


I listened to the Monday coaching session about confusion as an indulgent emotion that prevents decision making and destroys productivity. After working through the call, all of the decision making examples in which I struggle came to a single problem that I try to avoid: I don’t make decisions (or avoid choosing the decision I want) because my husband doesn’t agree and muddies the process for me. My big question is how do I work through this or model this situation so I can overcome my fear of upsetting my husband by sticking by the decisions I want to make.

For context, here is a current example. I want to hire a personal assistant. I work nearly full time, run a six-figure product business, and mother 4 children. I do Monday hour one and realize that I want to delegate certain items so I do not burn out. I found a woman who does the type of work I want and I planned an interview with her at my home. My husband doesn’t think I need the help. He says I’m ridiculous, that I should be able to do all these things myself, and that this is an unnecessary expense. Cost is not the issue. I make all the money. My husband stays home (has for ten years) but he thinks he does all the household management. He doesn’t. I do, I carry all the cleaning, feeding, shopping, kid-caring burdens. But that’s a huge loaded issue I haven’t tackled yet. The point is, anytime I raise something I want or a decision I’m making, he has a pushback or resistance, and if I go ahead with my plans, he’s angry, treats the kids and I with negative behaviors, and makes our household uncomfortable for everyone. This in turn makes my daily life very hard.

I understand this is long. But after 16 years of marriage, these negative responsive behaviors have me feeling triggered anytime I have to make a decision that would involve him to the point I’m paralyzed and just don’t move forward.

What resources in the vault should I use to work through this? How do I model through these overwhelming emotions and fairly poor thoughts into something empowering?