Hi Brooke,
I have some recurring thought patterns (beliefs) that really impact my life. When I tried to work on a model around one of them, I got kind of stumped because I had trouble identifying the feeling caused by the thought.
Here’s what I started with:
C: piles of papers in dining room
T: I need uninterrupted time to focus and space to lay them all out, and we need the table at meal times.
F:
A: Do other things, don’t attend to papers
R: Papers remain

I’m having trouble identifying the FEELING that the thought creates. I could create an alternative model based on the feeling I know I want to have. Does it matter that I am having trouble knowing the feeling created by the negative thought?

Alternative model:
C: Piles of papers in dining room
T: I can find a different surface than the DR table to work on them; I can work on them in batches
F: Motivated, hopeful
A: Locate a different surface, arrange papers, work on them in batches.
R: Papers get organized and put away.

I have recurring thoughts (beliefs) that negatively impact my life, both personally and professionally. One big one since having babies (who are now 14 & 12, LOL) is that “my time is not my own”, or “I have no control over my time.” I notice that I am creating many models around this theme. The above was one of them, in a way. Another one I had this week was the following:
C: drove to buy iced tea at coffee shop; took longer than expected b/c of traffic etc.
T: I just wasted XX minutes
F: frustrated
A: buffering by checking phone,
R: lost more time

Is switching to the thought “I am the master of my time” or “I am in control of my time” too big a leap for an ingrained belief?
Is it perhaps more realistic to say “I am in control of the time I have while the kids are at school” or some other halfway thought?
Thanks so much.