Hello–

I am trying to use the two models Lauren gave us this week in her Hour One lesson to figure out why I keep bailing on my weightless protocol and how I can stay more resolved. I’m not sure I’m putting things in the right places.

In the Moment:

Q’s to ask: Why did I do that? Why didn’t I do that?

C: Friday night and my husband suggests getting takeaway to celebrate my work victory this week
T: Yes, I want to feel like we are celebrating and that sounds fun–I don’t feel happy or like it matters that I had that work victory and maybe that will cheer me up; it seems like no matter how hard I work, I can’t make any real progress in my career.
F: Depressed
A: Ordered Indian takeaway instead of eating what I had planned
R: Felt better briefly but still felt depressed about career and now also feel how frustrating trying to lose weight this year has been. Don’t even make protocol for the next day.

Now What:

Qs to ask: What do I want to make this mean if I still want _to lose 25 pounds_ in my R line?

C: Ordered Indian takeaway instead of eating what I had planned
T: It doesn’t matter and I can still lose 25 #s
F: Resolved
A: Plan protocol for next day, plan normal exercise (not over-exercise to make up for overeating), weigh self without self-judgement
R: Lose 25 pounds

So, I can write out the second model but what I’m really thinking is “I do not know how to make the real things that are making me miserable any better and losing weight will be a pick me up but won’t solve any of my career issues.”

I can say to myself “The thought-work you do along the way to losing weight will give you all the skills you need to become the person that can thrive in your career as well.” But I don’t believe it. Or I think, “Well, I’ve been doing models, getting coached, and attempting to lose weight for 4 months now and have instead gained 3 pounds. Is this common in Scholars or are most people just clicking in and shedding weight? Is it me?”

I’d appreciate whatever help or wisdom you can offer.