Help w Actions Towards Others


I’m not quite sure how to act with others when they are complaining about their circumstances and/or sharing their opinion about what others are or are not doing. I find that I start sharing advice for example encouraging them to look at their thoughts or pointing out that adults aren’t always going to act in accordance with our manuals. That generally results in the end of the conversation or them getting defensive, which is not at all the result I’m looking to achieve. I would like to show up as engaged and supportive of them. If this is my R (maybe it’s not?) and I’m trying to work the model backwards, what are some other some actions I could take to produce the result I’m looking to achieve?