Help with a model on waiting/giving away my power?


Hi Brooke,

I have been trying to observe my thoughts and also patterns in my life. One thing I have noticed is that I have a tendency to wait on others to give me answers on things for too long versus pushing ahead with my life. Here are some tangible examples of what I mean by this. I waited months and months for my previous boss to respond to my proposals to restructure my group. He never responded. Or, I waited months and months for my ex-boyfriend to decide if he really wanted to move things forward. Or, even right now, I’ve been waiting for months for a new job to finalize an offer.

I have done some models on this topic and I think there is more work that I need to do to really understand why I am doing this and, consequently, how to change the behavior going forward. Can you please look at my current models and provide some insight if I am doing this the right way? Also, can you let me know if there are other thoughts and feelings I should be embracing?

Unintentional Model
C: Waiting for answers
T: I am too generously with my time
F: Helpless, resentful
A: Continue to wait because I feel like I have already invested in the activity
R: Not getting the results I want

Intentional Model:
C:Waiting for answers
T: I can move forward with my life- according to my plan – no matter whether or not I have an answer from others.
F: Empowered
A:Move forward with my plan
R:Drive my plan independent of others