Help with a models on death, holidays, and husband

C- My Grandfather died from the virus
T- He should not died
F- heartbroken
A- walk around depressed
R-Continue to feel depressed

When do I do an intentional model? how long do I allow myself these thoughts and feeling? Can you help me with an intentional models?

C- My husband said, I am indulging in my feeling and that walking around depressed is not good for the kids
T- I don’t want to put a a front
A- writing a thought work
R- Thinking I don’t what to change the way I feel

T- he is not Sympathetic
F- rejected
A- ? (feeling distant from him)
R- ? (Wishing he could be there for me in the way I want him to.

C Staying home for the holidays.
T- life sucks
F- depressed
A – thought download
R- not enjoying the holiday with my husband and children

Can you help me process my thoughts and feeling? I am so upset and down.