I am noticing that I keep coming up against a recurring pattern of thoughts when I am trying to do a task (often mundane and administrative) that I need to do. A typical model would be:
C task (eg send emails)
T I don’t want to do this.
A avoid task
R I don’t do it (or procrastinate and do it at the last minute) and don’t want to engage in my life.
I have been trying to work out why I am thinking “I don’t want to do this” and have come up with a number of different thoughts: “ I am scared of changing”; “I don’t want to risk failing”; “I don’t want to see myself as I really am ”; “the life I currently have is not good enough”; “I will fail and mess this up”; “This isn’t what I am supposed to be doing; I should be doing something different.” One alternative thought I have tried is “It’s ok that I don’t want to do it. I can still do the task anyway. I believe that thinking differently is the gateway to a bigger and happier future and I am willing to see if I’m right”. Which is ok but not 100% compelling. Is this along the right lines? I’m continually coming up against this sort of resistance. I think my brain is clinging to very old thoughts and beliefs and is resistant to changing them.