help with daughter

Im trying to manage my mind around a teenage daughter. These are the facts: she will demand that people (me) leave her room, she raises her voice, she tells me that she wants to be with her father.

I put those facts into the c line of a model. My intentional model is
T She is going through some difficult ages and stages
F trying for understanding
A give her space
R learn to tolerate the age and stage

I know its my thoughts that hurt my feelings but its hard not to feel like a door mat. Or that I’m being permissive and allowing all the negative behavior. But I don’t see an upside to being angry although I do feel hurt.

Its hard to know when to allow kids to be so mean?