Help with desire for sex and feeling more authentic being "sexy"


I was raised with a sexually conservative mindset and often felt anxiety about sex as something that I shouldn’t do, read about, or watch until marriage. Now that I am married I want to develop this part of myself. I’ve been married for many years. Having sex is fine, and I don’t feel anxiety about body image or sex itself, but I don’t feel like being “sexy” is a part of my identity I’m comfortable with. I feel awkward walking around in lingerie or being vulnerable with sex. I also don’t feel a lot of desire for sex or enjoyment with it and I’m sure this feeling of awkwardness or anxiety contributes. I would like to have more desire for sex and also be more comfortable with being sexy, playful and passionate.

I have tried to do some work around this.
I am working on being okay with feelings of awkwardness, anxiety, uncertainty
I have identified these types of thoughts:
Being “sexy” doesn’t feel authentic
I feel stupid
I don’t like this
I don’t want to
If I don’t figure this out–he will be dissatisfied
I know this would help us feel more connected
I know this is part of me that I want to evolve
I don’t now how to evolve it
I want to be the kind of wife who blows his mind
I want to be passionate and sexy

Old model:
C sex with husband
T I don’t enjoy it
F neutral
A don’t think about it much, don’t get into it as much as I would like,
R. I don’t enjoy it

New Model
C Sex with husband
T I can’t wait to make love
F Desire
A Get into it, prepare my mind, take risks
R. Enjoy it

Old Model
C sex with husband
T I don’t feel authentic being “sexy”
F Awkward
A Don’t do it, or try it and have negative self talk
R I never allow it to become part of who I am

C sex with husband
T I don’t feel authentic being sexy and that’s okay–it will take time for it to become part of my identity
F Willing/Brave
A Allow awkwardness, take risks, positive self talk even when feels weird
R Discover what does feel authentic and evolve as more sexy

I would appreciate your thoughts, feedback, help, model correction etc.