Help with difficult relationship decision


I am facing a difficult decision to either a.) part ways with a man I love, or b.) attempt to make the relationship work with couples counseling despite many want mismatches as well as antagonism between him and my kids.

I don’t anticipate either road will be easy but I am leaning towards parting ways because that’s the scenario I prefer and the one that I can see working out better for all concerned. However, I wonder if I “should” choose option b because it would force us both to grow as people and to address all the unsaid things with the help of a couples therapist. And because we love each other.

A few more details:
– We’re both avoidant
– I’m a people pleaser
– We’ve been together for 5 ½ years and engaged + living together for 3
– The want mismatch list is quite long and several of the things are ones that I thought were matches when we met based on what he said but that I have found out are not matches based on his actions
– He has said and inferred multiple times over the years that without me/my love, he’d walk off into the wilderness and end his life
– He had a stroke 2 years ago
– I just googled “signs of a codependent relationship” and realized to my shock and chagrin that ours has all of them
– My daughters are 11 and 15
– He never wanted to have kids, is critical of mine, and avoids them
– My daughters are my ultimate priority and I’ve realized that my relationship is creating an unhealthy household dynamic and a bad model for them and resulting in them hiding in their rooms and feeling negative feelings toward him.

I would appreciate some guidance on how to make this decision. I feel like the right choice for all concerned is to part ways but also think that I may be avoiding the hard work of trying to make it work. And of addressing my own behaviors that have led to a relationship like this.