Help with intentional model

C: phone call with Claire
T: she is more intelligent than me
F: inadequate
A: listen mutely, try and control the conversation, be hard on myself, try and change the subject, spin in thoughts, avoid further conversations, regret calling, not say what I really think, be defensive
R: I am not my authentic, intelligent self around her

I fully see and understand what I’m creating here but I’m struggling to come up with an intentional model that feels true.