Help with judging my friend


A close friend reached out to me recently to tell me that she is divorcing her husband of one year (fact). She said that, though she’s sad he is devastated, she met the “right” person and her current husband helped her to be ready for him. I am really struggling with judgment and sadness for her current husband. I keep reminding myself that the situation is neutral (and by the way, has zero impact on my daily life – they don’t even live in the same state as I do!) but I’m not able to believe my own model. She reached out to me today to tell me how happy she is and how much fun she is having and my feeling was anger. Can you help me with a bridge thought?

Current Model:
C – Friend deciding to get divorced and start new relationship before divorced
T – I can’t believe she’s doing this to Dan and isn’t even giving her marriage a shot. This new guy is just exciting because he’s new. It’s not fair to anyone to do this.
F – Anger, resentment
A – Pretend I’m ok with it and seethe inside. Beat myself up for having such strong feelings (ie, thoughts) about the situation and for not being a better friend
R – Not sure yet. I still keep avoiding talking to her on the phone (but that is happening Thursday)

Intentional Model
C – same
T – ???
F – Compassion, happiness for friend
A – Show up in a way that I feel good about
R – Unconditionally love

Thank you!