Help with model.

Many months ago, I had a very bad argument with my husband. He did and said some things that where very painful. We have forgiven each other and moved on. Most of the events leading up to it was my fault. Just out of the blue I was thinking about that night. Here is my first model.

C Argument with husband
T He does not love or care for me
F Resentfull, sadness, fear that he will leave me
A Suppress feelings by buffering
R I do not grow

Intentional model

C Argument with husband
T He did what he needed to do in the moment.
F I want to feel forgiveness
A Feel my feelings and not buffer
R Grow as an emotional adult.

Im not sure if its avoidance if I try not to think of that night or if I should think of everything that happened again.

Thank you for your help xoxo