help with model about coworker


I have a coworker that challenges me. I know I have a narrative in my head about her being bossy, overly directive, etc. I’m trying to understand my models.

UM
C:  coworker
F: annoyed, dismissed, diminished
T: coworker is super convinced she is right all the time
A: shrink back OR dig in heels (i.e., fight or flight)
R: inability to feel good while working with her

IM
C: coworker
F: (less annoyed? less threatened? less exhausted?)
T: my coworker is contributing to making our work better
A: I fully engage with her without feeling triggered or irritated
R: peace, leveraging each others’ strengths

My intentional model feels ‘meh’….like during those difficult moments with my coworker, that wouldn’t be enough to pull me out of my fight or flight reaction.