One of the things I would like to work on is my intimate relationship with my husband. He wants to have sex more often than I do and it is has been a persistent source of conflict in our marriage. Last night he tried to initiate sex, and even though we haven’t been intimate in weeks (we’ve both been sick), I rejected him. I’m now trying to do models on this, but my T’s aren’t matching up with my R’s. The results I’m getting may not be what’s best in the long run, as they hurt my marriage, but in the moment, the results satisfy my needs.

C – husband tells me he’d like to have sex, makes physical advances
T – I’m too tired
A – resist/reject husband’s advances
R – don’t have sex, get to go to sleep

C – husband tells me he’d like to have sex, makes physical advances
T – I’m not going to be turned on enough to enjoy it
A – resist/reject my husband’s advances
R – don’t have sex, get to go to sleep instead, which I do enjoy

And then once I’ve figured out what’s going on with my default thinking, is that when I start trying an intentional model? Thank you!