I have an adult child in active addiction who faces significant jail/prison time, and I’m letting it affect my life in negative ways. I’ve done some models on this but I’m not sure I’m doing them quite right; I may be mixing models or something. Can you please take a look at these and offer your suggestions? Thanks!!!

Unintentional Model
C – Child’s addiction and upcoming jail time
T – I can’t be happy if they are suffering from addiction and/or jail time
F – depressed
A – (inaction) put my life on hold; wallow in sadness, not accomplishing much, neglect other relationships, neglect all forms of self-care
(action) buffer with lots of junk food and time on internet, enable addiction to avoid conflict
R – I’m suffering (overweight, depressed, stuck), and that does nothing to reduce or fix my child’s suffering–we’re both stuck in types of prisons.

Intentional Model
C – Child’s addiction and upcoming jail time
T – It’s OK to feel sad, but it’s also important to be emotionally healthy.
F – Peace (What I want to feel, and do feel with that thought, but maybe I should have put “sad” here???)
A – Focus on self-care and strengthening other relationships, offer child appropriate support without enabling addiction, move forward on my own goals (weight loss, career goals, remaking our home into a peaceful place, etc)
R – I’m an example to my child of physical/emotional health, strong relationships with others, and a life free of buffers.

Thanks again for your help!