I’m struggling with letting teenage son be and do what he wants because I don’t love his choices. I think they are destructive. I know … as in I understand … that I cannot control his decisions or his thoughts. I’m struggling with changing my thoughts on this and I’m looking for suggestions.

unintentional model
C I have a son
T – I don’t trust him to make responsible choices.
F – despair
A – I try to restrict his activities, I try to remove privileges, I try to tell him to do more positive things.
R- I am constantly worried about his potential actions and we fight all the time.

This model accurately reflects my feeling of powerlessness.

I tried to do a more intentional model and I felt a little better but I’m not sure if I’m going the right direction here. I am trying to choose a thought and a feeling.

C – I have a son
T – My son might make some bad choices and I can love him anyway.
F – Love
A – I encourage my son to make good choices . I set boundaries around any unsafe behaviors that I will not support. I acknowledge that I am only able to control my behavior and I have to let him be who he is.
R – I allow my son to be who he will be from a place of love.

This intentional model feels tough. But less powerless. Let me know what feedback you have especially some suggestions for ideas for thoughts I can try on here that might be helpful. Thank you.