Help with my model about journaling

C- Writing in my journal.
T- My last two journal entries are rambling and incoherent. The rambling and incoherence of my writing proves I am not a stable person. I don’t want to look at at my old entries.
F- Anxiety, Fear, Shame
A- Keeping writing, Not flipping back to read to my old entries, Having indecision about throwing them out.
R- Difficulty journaling and getting my thought out on paper with out judging what I write. I have fear of letting my new thoughts flow from my brain and out on paper.
I did an intentional model and I don’t believe the new thought. I know that the words or writing in my journal can’t make me feel anything.
Can you please help me with an intentional model I can believe?