In response, I do NOT believe that my mother is causing my feelings. I believe that I am not happy because of my thoughts. The model that I gave you was with the thought “I’ll never make her happy, and I don’t know what to say anymore.” Because I’m thinking that, my result is that *I’m not happy*. I’m not blaming my mother for how I feel. I also know that I’m not responsible to make her happy, which I’ve tried to tell her, but she’s told me that I am responsible for her happiness and I’m the reason why she’s upset. If we don’t agree on this point, I don’t really know what else to say to her, as I said in the T line in my previous model.
I’d like help with the model that I gave you. I accept that I have a mother who has been “sick” for most of her life and all of my life. I think that I’d like to feel sad about this.
Nevertheless, I think that I need to draw boundaries. How can one draw boundaries with someone who emotionally isn’t able to have a conversation about boundaries or who is “sick”? How do I respond when we disagree on a fundamental point, the point being that I’m not responsible for making her happy or sad or anything at all?