I need some help with my model: I feel like I’ve flushed out my “A” line but I’m a bit muddy on the “R” line and would love some help.
C: My husband asks me: “Where are the remote controls for the X-Box?”
I reply: ”I think the boys put them under the bed.”
I walk into the room, grab the remote to lift the bed up.
T: I’ve got to do this the right way. I don’t want him to get mad at me.
A: I second guess myself; I lift the side of the bed he is on instead of the side I’m on-which was my 1st thought, I don’t think it thru, I try to control how he treats me by thinking about what he wants instead of what I want, I panic, I go into fight or flight mode, I don’t think I’m right, I don’t trust myself, I ignore what I really wanted to do-lift my side of the bed, I make decisions out of fear, I cower, I don’t take responsibility for my actions, I blame him for my choices, I make it mean that I am choosing “wrong”, I try to people please, and prove I’m smart and made the right choice.
R: I become the victim and give him all my power.