Help with rude teenagers

I am the mother of 2 sets of twins. A boy and girl who are about to turn 17 and 2 girls who are 13. I feel like my husband and I need help to get our kids to be respectful, positive toward others, communicate without screaming, how to discuss not to argue and to have control of their emotions.

My 3 girls start each morning arguing about clothes, who has done more chores, who is the favorite child (not that we ever say or act like we have one). My son is laid back and does not usually argue but occasionally he is even starting to lose his temper. I feel like we are becoming a little toxic as a family and not knowing how to really just enjoy each others company.

Lately, everyone finds a lot of fault in what I say or do and this is not helping my morale. I will then set a bad example and raise my voice, which does not set a good example. I feel like we need some better ideas on helping our kids communicate better. I listened to one of Brooke’s podcasts where she asked her kids what kind of traits they would like to see in their sibling. It sounded like an effective exercise.

We are leaving on a 7 hour road trip this Saturday for 5 day vacation. I am worried about our kids current behaviors for this trip. I would love any ideas on how to improve our family relationship to one that’s more enjoyable with each other or even tolerant. The first thing I think we need help on is how to control the screaming and arguing. How to be part of a family, to work together, to let the little things go and focus on trying to just have fun with the moment or just be in the moment.