I have recently learned that most of my actions (and models) surround shame. Most of my behaviors are done to avoid the experience of shame. It just feels so painful.

I have been practicing doing models by myself and in coaching and the F line is almost always fear, but I now can see that the F line is fear and the fear is of shame.

I have also been practicing just feeling the shame and just allowing it to be there, but I feel like there is more that can be done than just saying “ This is shame, its ok to feel this way. Just because I feel this doesn’t mean its true”.

Any thoughts or suggestions on what to do here. When I dig deeper, I can get to an intentional model of

C: Shame
T: You weren’t valued as a child so it makes sense shame is here right now
F: Validation
A: Just feel it
R: Shame doesnt have control over me.

This feels good, but I feel like there is something I am missing.