Hey Brooke, my questions is about my 14 year old son and his unwillingness to go to school. When he doesn’t attend school just because (not due to TRUE illness) he doesn’t have access to his phone, tv, video games, friends etc…which is fine with him because he basically just sleeps. He ALWAYS has a reason…didn’t sleep well, stomachache, headache, tired, allergies etc… I use to yell and scream, play loud music, keep waking him up etc but I can’t “physically” get him out of bed. He is bigger and stronger than me.

I was able to get to the point of being OK with him not going because me getting all upset and frustrated just started my day crappy and didn’t do any good anyway so here is my model on that.

C – Son refuses to go to school
T – I have to make my son get up and go
F -Stressed & agitated
A – Yell, Scream, Play irritating loud music, keep waking up
R – son misses school & I am pissed

C – Son refuses to go to school
T – He is responsible for getting himself up and ready
F – Release
A – Wake him up once when I get up & let it go
R – Son misses school

Now I am getting close to the point where if he doesn’t start going, I can & will be charged with Truancy. It’s not like he just fails school and it’s on him and he has to repeat the grade…that would be fine with me, but going to court and be charged with a misdemeanor is NOT something I am willing to do. I have thought about Byron Katie’s work and her questions about who’s business is it and while him getting himself up and going to school “should” be his business, the State of VA makes it MY business. I don’t know how to use the model to help resolve this issue 🙁 Please Help!

C – Son misses school and I get charged with Truancy
T – I don’t have the money to pay, don’t want a misdemeanor and don’t want to go to jail
F – Panic
A – ???