Help with Weightloss Model / thoughts / stuckness


In my morning TDL I had an insight that I’m (unconsciously) sabotaging my weightloss with the belief that if I lose the weight then I won’t have any excuse for being unhappy / unfulfilled. Whoa. (Not really a new thought, but it just kind of hit me). I’m having trouble doing the intentional model:
C = weightloss
T = if I lose the weight then I won’t have any excuse for being unhappy / unfulfilled
F = shame, resistance, fear
A = sabotage weightloss efforts; keep indulging in hiding and being too tired
R = keep the weight; keep struggling with the weight; keep being unhappy / unfulfilled

C = weightloss
T = I create my own happiness at any weight, all emotions are available to me now
F = …

While I do believe that thought (at least at some level) it’s somehow not really addressing the issue? The fear is something around that if I lose the weight I’ll have to DO things, like exercise a lot and go out more… I have this vague idea (from all my coachy stuff?) that fulfillment means life is full and busy with… stuff. And right now I’m having a hard time seeing that as something I want? It’s like I’m in a tug of war between wanting all the down time (which I’m not filling with much beyond Hulu – and scholars work) and wanting more fullness and purpose and direction; it feel exhausting – and scary.
I know I’m generating it all myself – making it all up. What may be some good questions to ask / thoughts to add to an intentional model…? I feel like I’ve got the issue, but my thinking gets really diffuse around it. Thanks for any help!!