My brother in law was very anxious during a house auction yesterday. Him and my sister successfully won the bid and bought the house. (Yay!)
Afterwards he was still in a highly anxious state and wanted me to coach him a bit.
I explained how he was in the freeze mode, his amygdala is on overdrive and that it’s completely normal and I’d be feeling the same way. I said its helpful to write all your thoughts down out of your head and on paper.
He started explaining what his thoughts were, such as”I’ve made a terrible decision” and I simply listened non judgementally.
I was then sort of lost as to what to do.
He was in an anxious state so I didn’t want to suggest new thoughts as I believed that’s probably unhelpful in that moment. I simply just listened with love.
But after the moment I was listening to Byron Katie and wondered whether I would’ve helped him question his thoughts through “is it true? Can you absolutely know it’s true you made a terrible decision?”
Before the auction, in a calm state, he loved the house and was very excited, so I know it was just his brain. he gets anxious with big decisions.
What do you think would be the best way to coach someone who’s in an anxious state due to their thoughts? And not being 100% sure if they want new thoughts / to question them?
Do you ask or? Do they even know what they want /need in that state?
When I’m in that state my boyfriend simply makes me laugh, and I feel better.