So I am working on my hubby this week and I have done his manual and what he would do in a perfect world and I am not really surprised by the results I am getting. Since I started the homework this month I have been working toward letting him be who he is and do whatever he wants, since he is an adult! I am realizing that a lot of my “complaints” (for lack of a better word) stem for his lack of time and the decisions he makes that I feel don’t make me a priority. I am working on that in my models ans my homework! and I think I am making progress in how I think about the situation.
I have known for a while that he works at a job he hates, but after the work this month I can see how incredibly unhappy he is at the company. His company was sold about 2 years ago and while he likes the new owners, his workload has increased significantly and his support has decreased, all without a bump in salary or benes. He is working 60-80+ hours, 6-7 days a week and is so unhappy it is palpable. He complains about work all the time and is angry and frustrated and a the end of his rope (his words). He doesn’t ask for help at work, he won’t tell them he is overloaded and as of now he is not looking for a different position. I see his mental and physical health deteriorating, he isn’t sleeping, his blood pressure is up, his weight is going up, his sugar cravings are out of control and he just cannot seem to stop being upset and angry. He doesn’t see that he is making choices that perpetuate the situation and that doing nothing is a choice. He talks like a victim. I see him spiraling downward and I want to help, but I just don’t know how to intervene or even if I can in a meaningful way. I have told him I am concerned about him, worried he isn’t sleeping, worried he is going to stroke or have a heart attack.
Since starting Self Coaching Scholars in May I am feeling so empowered and so much better than I have in months (maybe even years). I feel so badly for him. I am moving forward with this work for me no matter what, but I love him so much and I hate to see him struggling. I am just not sure what to do or how to proceed.
Any suggestions for how I approach him and how I stay on track?
Thank you so much (sorry this was long)