Helping Other People Grow

Here’s something my new bf shared with me that has me realizing that he might not be willing to or know how to grow in our relationship:

bf texted: “This is the second time in less than a week that my humor has picked up our sensitivities, that makes me unhappy, and I don’t want to be in a relationship where I am unhappy.”

bf texted: “I still am very sensitive, and though not many things get me upset, when I do I am left emotionally and physically drained. My concern is that if we continue seeing each other we are just continue to poke into each other sensitivities, and be unhappy.”

I can’t control whether I upset him, so I feel like it is inevitable that he will be unhappy in this relationship, which I don’t want. I want to talk to him about how being unhappy and getting upset are a choice, but I also know the best practice is for us to show up in emotional adulthood, and if other people are curious to learn about how we manage our mind, they will ask. But when I look inside myself and my values, it will be out of integrity for me NOT to offer him the opportunity to grow in this relationship with me, the way I want to grow. I love this person and I want this person to be happy, and I know that is possible together, if we both grow. I want to offer him that, but I don’t know how/when. Help!