Hi, I was hoping that I could get some feedback on why I am having a hard time being generous. My mom has cancer and I am hosting a dinner party for her tomorrow night. Part of me feels frustrated that my uncle is asking to drop my nephew off really early. My thought is, “I am not your babysitter” because he has to work. I also have ideas of how long people should be at my house. I wish I was more relaxed and focused on making my mother happy instead of worrying about when people might leave. I want to do this for her so my resistance is a bit surprising. I have been the main caretaker for her during this process and on Monday I am going to take her into surgery so I am not sure if I am buffering feelings of anxiety or old feelings of when I was younger and my Mom was really absent and my old brain is like, “Why should I take care of you even when you didn’t take care of me?” I am struggling because there is a piece of me that genuinely wants to do this for her and loves my family and wants to have them over. I know I am creating resistance though and therefore blocking my joy of giving.