C: boyfriend says he isn’t good at wrapping Christmas presents and that he will hire me next year to do it
T: I’m not your administrative assistant
A: Get defensive, shut down to him, think about how this isn’t going to work, look for more evidence of how we aren’t a good fit, think about all the other times he has said things that just rub me the wrong way. Tell him “I can help him but I’m not available for hire”. Think about how this relationship is wrong for me. I don’t think he’s funny.
R: I have no idea
I also notice that at the same time, if he had instead said “Can you please help me next year?” I’d be all in. My thought would be something like “it could be fun to wrap presents together” and I’d feel loved and connected. I’m still super annoyed at his words. Then I wonder – am I supposed to tell him every time something he does annoys me? I am happy single, I don’t want to be in a relationship with somebody who annoys me.
The bigger problem might be that I don’t think he’s funny. I find his jokes stupid or insulting. I think this is going to be a big problem moving forward.