Holiday Eating Day 1

I’ve been, generally speaking, doing no sugar no flour off and on for years. I recommitted about a week ago and haven’t done any sugar or flour. I’ve had some carbs in the form of sweet potato and rice, but I have decided that I’m okay with that for now.

The urges are still there, but I’m getting good at feeling the visceral feelings while just observing the thoughts. No big deal – just bodily vibrations.

I’m going home for Christmas tomorrow and am going to bake cookies with my sister. I want to eat some. I just don’t want to be out of control – so I think I will schedule a joy eat.

I think for tomorrow I’ll do a coffee in the morning and I’d like to fast until dinner, but I just know I’m going to be hungry and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do it. Then I’ll be tempted to eat all the cookies later on. Maybe I could do a soup from my favorite Canadian fast food place when I land and that should tie me over until dinner. I’d like to say that I’m not going to have the bread that comes with the soup, just the soup. I don’t know what kind yet, because I can’t be sure of the menu.

I’m unsure of dinner because I’ll be with my sister, but I’d like to keep it simple. I’ll just do whatever meat and vegetable options there are, maybe with some rice or a potato if that’s an option. I know I’m not being super strict with myself. I honestly just don’t really want to be too crazy about it.

I’m also feeling bloated today and am afraid to step on the scale tomorrow for fear of berating myself and ruining my entire holiday. I know the number on the scale is neutral and I create thought drama about it, it’s just probably the strongest thought drama I’ve ever experienced and I don’t think now is a great time to try and combat it.

That said, I’d like to give myself permission to eat up to six Christmas cookies tomorrow. If it’s okay, I’ll check back in as the days progress.