Homework Question On Categorizing Feelings

I need help on figuring out if my negative emotion is one I need to allow or indulgent. This is my unintentional model. C: My husbands words. T:He is so unpredictable. F: Drained A: Try to help him see why he is wrong. R: My well-being is so unpredictable. My intentional model is T: He is confused, poor guy. F:Compassions A:Allow him to say all his loaded words R: His confusion doesn’t cause me to be confused. So my question is, should I just accept that being drained by my husband’s unpredictability is a feeling I need to allow to be married to him, but know that compassion is always available when I’m intentional? Or is drained indulgent because I never actually have to feel that way, I’m just choosing to because that’s how my brain is wired after 8 years of living with his unpredictably?