Hot and cold in current relationship

Started dating friend of mine 3 months ago. Not someone I would typically be attracted to but great person, with much in common and a good friendship.

I am running hot and cold on whether it’s working and if I have good chemistry with him. I seem to place a high priority on the chemistry, and when I’m “thinking” it’s not there I pull back. I have a belief that chemistry and attraction have to be strong. This makes me feel happy and excited to see him. When I don’t feel attracted, the opposite is true.

I’m pretty sure I create attraction with my thoughts but am at a loss. When I do it, it feels theoretical and I don’t feel it for real.

C- he says something (at a loss for something specific)
T- ugh, I’m not attracted to you
F- annoyed
A- get quiet, pull away, get in head/spin
R- don’t build emotional connection

Any feedback much appreciated!