How are family and clients different?


I decided to ask my husband for separation and divorce. This is not what he wants, but he’s not fighting me on it. I want to believe that in the end, this will be better for my husband and for our two kids, in addition to being better for me, and that we can still be a strong foursome family unit, albeit differently shaped, that loves and supports each other.

Part of me does believe that 100% and another part says, “Well, you can’t control their thoughts, feelings, or actions, so that’s not a good belief to practice.”

But then I think of what Brooke says about reaching a money goal or a ‘number of clients’ goal, that “there’s no downside to believing right up until the moment that the month is over, or the year is over. Just keep taking action and staying in the energy of having met your goal.”

I’ve taken this to my 20 minute sessions, and some SCS coaches say, “If that belief results in you taking actions that serve you, go for it! Believe it!” and other SCS coaches say, “Well, you CAN try to believe that but I’d recommend focusing instead on only what YOU can control.”

If the latter is the SCS way of thinking about it, then what is the difference between not being able to have complete control over which clients say yes in order to achieve a goal, and not having control over which *ways of engaging with my family members* will result in reaching my goal?

I understand that it’s also helpful to focus only on what’s going on inside me, but at the end of the day I do in fact interact with my family members and I’m not going to give up on being a loving and connected family unit–much like I don’t give up on a money goal, so what are some beliefs that address the SCS coaches’ concerns and also include the RESULT in my belief?