how can I balance listening and being in scholars vs taking time to get the results I am wanting

So I got the Brooke Castillo book box (for signing up for coach training) I am so excited to read all of these books. I wanna read them right now! since I’ve joined scholars the first two months I feel like I made a lot of progress and then after that I feel like I’m making internal progress , but little to show for my external results I am wanting. I listening to all the calls, I spend a lot of time doing all the work and that’s what I prefer to do . All I want to do all day long is listen to podcasts and the assets and I find Im giving it any time I have. I am almost in a panic about the box because I want to just stop time and read everything right now.
I am closing my business after 23 years we are making no money. I’m so much more comfortable just listening to how I “could” make money in my business, but not making money

Im in a transition and I feel scared by my lack of motivation to create my next financial reality and how I can support myself and my son

I’m loving scholars I do the self coaching every day, and I have a also regular have daily journals I do in addition to scholars and now I have all these books and I feel I need lots more time. Like coaching myself has become my full time unpaid job. which maybe isn’t terrible if that is going to be my next thing coaching closing studio in march coach training starting in April.

I love your guidance on a constructive way to hold this in my brain

So I set an impossible goal of 250 k
I feel very little if any to work towards doing that, instead I want to just learn more?

Suggestions on how to change this? Or let myself have 3 months to wrap and close my business then focus on scholars

I have a nest egg so not in crisis financially but still quite concerned.