How Can I Stop Complaining…

Recently, I’ve been working on models for a specific situation. I realize I’m upsetting myself about the situation with my thoughts – and I’ve done multiple models to see my thoughts and create new thoughts. I thought I’d done excellent work on this situation and was moving in the right direction.

However, last night I was at a party – and someone asked me about the situation. All of a sudden, I was right back in emotional childhood. I was complaining about how my circumstances were causing all of these feelings and how I wish the circumstance were this instead of that. My friend commiserated with me about how upsetting that circumstance was – but immediately after, I realized I’d just jumped right back to where I believed the circumstance really was unfair and could be better and should be better.

I don’t want to complain. I certainly don’t want to be in emotional childhood around this or any circumstance. Why, after doing models, did I so easily go right back into complaining about the circumstance? I could have just as easily talked about my new model … how I felt about the situation now (much better) – but it was like a switch. Ask me about circumstance, here comes all of the old thoughts and feelings. And it felt terrible.

What am I doing wrong or why did this come up? I personally don’t like complaining – especially when I get that all I’m doing is sharing my “negative” thoughts about a neutral thing. I don’t want to be someone who shares “negative” thoughts about things – when our thoughts are neutral. (I guess I have a thought about “complaining” that … Complaining is annoying and something negative people do. I don’t want to be a negative person!)