How can I support myself better? (having lied to myself before)

When I first joined Scholars, I did the weight loss programs and lost 35 or so pounds. I felt great and all was good. I then picked another huge goal (business) – it also went much better than I had hoped. But now, 6 months or so later I regained 15 pounds. In hindsight I had excuses every day (it doesn’t matter so much to stick with the protocol, just this one time, etc). I decided to re-start at least 3 times in those months but then didn’t do it. Excuses again. Pretending all was good. Today I went over a limit (weight wise) I had thought never to come even close to again.
I’m willing to do whatever it takes to lose the extra weight. But I’m not trusting myself anymore. I told myself so many lies that I don’t know anymore how to re-start. Please help. Thank you!