How can violence be a neutral circumstance?

I’m really struggling with some of the modeling I’ve read below and specifically with “anyone is allowed to do anything” when there are laws and morals structures that help a society function. When a person molests a child, or someone abuses or kills someone, how can this be “allowed” or “neutral?” I’m also struggling to accept that people born into extreme poverty or in war-torn countries or who face other economic or environmental challenges have lives that are a reflection of their thoughts. Can you help explain (or am I misunderstanding?)