I asked the question, where should I begin in a prior “Ask the coach” question. The answer was to begin with a program that will help me develop the skills I need to reach a result that will blow my mind in one year.

I know the answer to that: What would really blow my mind is to have a great relationship with my husband one year from now. I can almost get excited about that because it would be so unbelievable. However, the issue with that goal is I cannot measure it because I can’t define what a great relationship would look like. Is there somewhere in the Study Vault that could help me come up with a vision for a great relationship with my husband?

We have been married 21 years and I have a lot of resentment about how he has acted when our kids were little. He was impatient, angry, aloof, critical, unhelpful and condescending. His behavior has improved significantly in the past few years, but I don’t trust him and I am still angry about how his bad behavior created an environment in our home that was no fun. Now I see that his temper also created issues for my kids and me. I understand now that I can choose my thought and that is what I’m trying to do here. I know I need to let go of my resentments and learn to see the past as perfect the way it was.

Which lessons would you recommend for me to learn the skills that will help me manifest the reality of a great relationship with my husband by next year? Also, I have an anxious attachment style and I’m coming to terms with the fact that I may always feel anxiously attached to my husband so I’m wondering if it’s even worthwhile working on that as a goal or if I should choose a different goal, one in which I can create more immediate and measurable success.