How do I do work on my mom if she passed away?

Hi, I just heard Brooke say, “The work we do on our moms is the most profound work we can do!” However, my mom died four years ago and I’m still blaming her for all she did and didn’t do! I know it’s all my thoughts but this one is difficult because I believe she’s the reason for my low self esteem. I’ve come a long way. I recovered from drug addiction and she was one of my suppliers, I put myself through acupuncture school, I’m going to The Life Coach School and yet when I look around my apartment at 52 years old, I think, “I’m living in an apartment because she contributed to my super low self esteem as a child. That low self esteem lead me right into unhealthy choices which lead me to no house, no kids, no money, etc. How do I begin to chip away at all of these thoughts and change them? I have so much more life to live and want to be an example of what’s possible. Thank you.