How do I figure out my Hard Why for no longer buffering?

I just re-listened to the Hard Why podcast (episode #289) and was wondering how I can go about figuring out what my HARD reason is for wanting to stop overeating/buffering in general. I’ve thought of things like that I want to get more done or that I want to eat make my life more enjoyable without relying on a buffering crutch, or that I want to be able to become the best version of myself so I can really show up in the world and do what I was meant to do and make a tremedously positive impact on other people’s lives but then I forget my “why” or I think “fuck it” or “I’m aready skinny enough why do I need to lose weight” or “what if I do lose some weight and people think I’m anorexic” or “why does this matter?” or “this is deprivation” and my result is that I decide to eat food such as ice cream in the moment.

Something stood out to me in another podcast and I think it was Brooke saying something like that every time we give into an urge we get a little weaker against that urge, whereas every time we allow it we grow stronger. I often think about how it’s pain/discomfort now or pain/discomfort later, ie. that eating ice cream merely delays when I’m going to feel discomfort, and I’ve heard the analogy that every time you resist/allow an urge you’re casting a vote for the type of person that you want to be but I hadn’t really internalized the idea that every time you make the choice to allow or resist or give into an urge, you are making that urge stronger/weaker going forward. I think it helps to think of this as how I would train a dog or a child, by only rewarding good behavior and how consistency in what behaviors are rewarded and aren’t. For example, never allowing ice cream off protocol without writing about why I like my reason, as opposed to what I’m doing now which is sometimes allowing the urge for a bit, and then giving in to it, or resisting it and then eventually giving in to it.

Anyway this was quite the ramble but do you have any guidance for how I can work on this?

Right now I’m trying to think of an answer to “so what if I don’t ever stop buffering?” But then I know that I *do* want to stop so that I can evolve into who I’m meant to be, but when I try to ask myself why, then I’m drawing a blank. How should I go about figuring this out? Do I have to just do enough thought downloads that eventually I figure it out? Or do I just brainstorm enough times until it “clicks”? I think Brooke’s podcast on the hard why also talked about when you find your hard why, to examine how that why/thought makes you feel. But how is that helpful other than in helping to recognize the most powerful why? Should I work backwards and look for thoughts that make me feel determined or driven or passionate or something of that nature?

Thanks in advance for the guidance, and thank you for reading this!