How do I reconcile owning what I feel and not liking something my husband said?


A couple of days ago, my husband said something that surprised me and made me upset. He said “I always spend way more money on your gifts than what you spend on mine”. Below are my models, but what I’m trying to understand is how to own my emotion and reaction and not wanting him to say stuff like that because it’s not the way I want our relationship to be.

C: Husband said: “I always spend way more money on your gifts than what you spend on mine”
T: That’s not true. What’s that supposed to mean? That’s a petty comment. Why would he say something so stupid. He shouldn’t be comparing the monetary value of gifts.
E: Anger, frustration
A: Tell him that’s a stupid comment, why would you say that – you know that’s not true.
R: Get into an argument and disconnect from him

C: Husband said: “I always spend way more money on your gifts than what you spend on mine”
T: He loves me and that’s not like him to say stuff like that. I wonder what he’s feeling that drove him to say something like that.
E: Compassion, curiosity
A: Calmly ask what does his mean by saying that? or why that’s important to him?
R: Understand him better and learn what he really wants

So even as I write these models I feel angry. I don’t want that type of comments in our relationship and I don’t want to blame him for how I feel. I know I’m feeling angry because of my thoughts and not what he said, but yet I don’t want him to make comments like that – that’s not what I want our relationship to be based on
How can I own my feelings, take 100% responsibility for my experience and still not put up with comments like that?