How do I Stop a Thought Spiral?


I’m an expert at beating myself up and feel like I’m drowning. I get stuck in thought spirals a lot and then start reaching out to people for validation.

Tonight for example I was sharing a recent audio recording I made for encouraging other people to stop labeling people as idiots and stupid with someone who I’d previously had a conversation with about it to get her feedback and was taken aback by her feedback. She advised that I don’t post it because it sounded judgemental. This is about the 5th or 6th person in the last week or so that has made a comment to me about some of the things I am posting or saying or doing that is not my intention at all. I had a conversation with my life coach last week about a guy whom I was trying to help (or thought I was trying to help) who out of the blue wanted to end our conversation and not speak anymore because he said he felt manipulated and gaslighted etcetera, things which I would definitely never intentionally do.

I’ve had some comments on posts where I intended to share alternative perspectives to encourage people where some people accused me of encouraging people to stop social distancing and that my posts were giving the wrong idea, when that was not my intention at all.

And I’ve had a life coaching friend of mine tell me my post where I explained myself to the person was too long and I sound defensive and I could have gotten my point across in shorter words.

Another friend reached out in texts about a different thing I posted saying the same thing.

I am being courageous and trying to put myself out there because I have hidden for a long time (for this exact reason), but 6 misunderstandings in the last week is making me start to think I’m not communicating well. Which triggers a thought spiral about how I’m not good enough to be a life coach because I’m doing the exact opposite of what I intend to do which is spread positivity and light. I also don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to about this because one of the people I usually talk to is also one of the first people who started misunderstanding me.

And then the best friend I turn to is the one who said my post was way too long. I think she was just trying to be helpful, but it only made me feel bad about myself because I felt like the long post was important to share and didn’t know how to shorten it. Now I am finding myself double checking everything.

I am getting stuck in the and then THIS HAPPENED AND THIS HAPPENED AND THIS HAPPENED and struggling to pinpoint just one thoughts.

And yes, obviously I want to feel better and think better things about all this, but at the same time I am wondering if I need to learn something here that I’m not seeing because that’s 6 times in one week! I don’t want to give up, but I feel like it today.