How do I stop making meaning out of the unkind way my daughter treats me, that cause my thoughts to be negative toward myself and bring me down?

I feel in an immense amount of pain and shame that my 17 yr old daughter doesnt like me and strongly lets me know that with every interaction. she is great to everyone else. i, like the other caller feel it is because of how I have been most of her life. Stressed and in survival mode with an addicted husband. She is unaware of his addiction so they are very close. Im the one she aims all her anger of the family strife at. She excludes me from her life and she is a senior and we should be enjoying her last year together. I am so sad I feel she thinks I am the worst Mom because of the things she says. Unfortunately my despair and frustration brings my spouse down and he is really getting upset with my inability to no let what my daughter says or does bother me. It is causing a lot of tension for the two of us . How do i stop my part