How do I use the Model to change my thinking?

My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years. We love having sex with each other and sometimes when my thoughts go unchecked I tend to lash out and not “play fair”.

Here’s my example. So I’ve been in the mood the last few days where he has not, when he gets dressed in the morining he smells and looks good. So when it’s time to say bye for the day like today,  more than once have I let him know that I would like to have sex.   He says no or nothing at all, no advancement or anything day or night. Well when he left for work today I didn’t say bye or “good luck in your interview”, nothing. I’ve also sat down to do a model on my thoughts today too:

C: He won’t or doesn’t want to have sex with me.
T: Why do I want this so bad?/ Why doesn’t he want me?
F: Rejected
A: non responsive when spoken to, don’t want to communicate
R: Bitterness forms and misunderstanding between us happens, we probably wont talk until we crawl into bed tonight. (and that makes me sad all over again)
How do I get this figured out and over myself?