How do i want to show up

I have no idea how i want to show up. But i do know that how i am showing up….no one likes me. I want my family to respect and treat me like i matter to them. But they do not. They dont even get up off the couch to say goodbye when im leaving a get together. It seems that whether i show up as the lite version of myself or as the full force version….the response is the same. My sister is the biggest culprit….she is outwardly crital and hostile toward me. Its easy to say”change my thinking” but this all takes me by surprise and i dont get a chance to process thoughts. My son got a sratch on his leg and i wanted to put antibacterial lotion on it….i got oh come on….your overprotective and a slew of negative responses…from her…why? She is so riddled with hostility toward me that it comes at me in all directions. So my choices are…1. Dont spend time around people that dont like me and are clearly hostile to me. 2. Say something in the moment which is not difficult at all for me….BUT WOULD START A WORLD WAR….and bad feelings/fight for 2 months….. i dont want that either. So i eat her words and her hostility…..literally… because i felt so bad and rejected by her hostility. And i was doing really well with allowing eurges but this took me such by surprise and was so intense. So how do i want to show up at family events? My focus is always on how i want THEM to show up towards me. If i show up….showy and outgoing….they hate me….if i show up quiet but with any opinion….they hate me….if i dont show up at all…they seem fairly comfortable with that… do i just not go anymore? show up as my flamboyant designer clothes, opinionated self ? or perhaps keep it all under wraps and people please the entire time? They seem to not like me with any of the above…..SO HOW DO I SHOW UP NOW? Thank you.